Thursday, August 23, 2012

three months later

perhaps the title of this post led you to believe this would be an attempt to summarize all that has taken place in our family three months post-adoption. but instead, what i'm really here to say that after three months, we finally broke down and bought...

a double stroller.
and let me tell you, after an inaugural stroll through best buy tonight, i knew my life would never be the same again.
kal has actually been extremely good about walking (and rarely whining) when we go places where she can't just ride in a cart. but even she has had her moments where exhaustion and overstimulation get the best of her. we've had a handful of miserable moments where kal has melted down or been on the verge of melting down because she wanted to be carried while we were out (and, for the record, i have had a few frazzled mom moments when i've obliged her request to be carried. mothers of more than two children, i salute you, because it takes a lot just to juggle a 4-year-old on your hip while steering a stroller carrying an almost-2-year-old with one hand). but now, thanks to the awesome sit and stand double stroller, kal can sit down when she feels tired/overwhelmed or stand up when she's looking for a little adventure (and she can still walk when she wants to, but i already told her that we didn't just buy a double stroller for her to decide that she never wants to ride in the stroller again).
the other thing i've noticed, though, is that strollers are a good way to protect your kids from all the crazies out there who have never heard of a good 'ole thing called personal space. i'm probably a little hypersensitive about personal space because i've read a lot about kids from multiple caregiver backgrounds who don't know how to discriminate between their permanent caregivers (read: mommy and daddy) and all the other potential caregivers in the world (read: complete strangers at the mall). we still don't let people we know and trust get too much in their space because, even with the positive steps toward healthy attachment we've taken in the last few months, there are still times when i watch them be totally confused about who mommy is or who they're going home with. the problem is, rebuma is now in a stage where he absolutely loves to wave at people, which means he is perpetually -- though, unintentionally -- inviting others into his personal space (sometimes, when he's feeling extra congenial, he reaches his hand out to grab people so he can wave at them, and that's when i literally have to restrain his hand with mine). and once rebuma gets someone waving back or talking to him, it draws kal in too, and she starts waving and smiling like she's known that person her whole life...and, well, i hope it makes sense why these interactions are problematic for kids from trauma/multiple caregiver backgrounds.
so, i figure that while a double stroller won't solve all my problems, i now at least have one more buffer between the outside world and both my children. because to get into my children's personal space means the crazies will also have to get all up in mine, and i'm neither as cute or as sweet as my kids.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

the darndest things

i'm really kicking myself for not keeping a better record of all the english-as-a-third-language mix-ups kal has had. like tonight, she kept telling jamie she had a "girl cheese sandwich" for lunch instead of a grilled cheese sandwich.

thankfully, however, i can remember the best mix-up she's had to date. when we realized kal has a pretty sharp memory, we decided to harness it by starting bible verse memorization. for the past month, we've been working on learning a verse each week. a few weeks ago, she was memorizing micah 6:8:

and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God.

i've noticed that the way she seems to memorize is by taking little chunks of the verse and repeating them over and over until she pieces the whole thing together in her brain. that week, i remember she repeated "walk humbly" about a million times. several days after we'd completed that verse and moved on to the next one, kal was helping jamie bring in groceries and kept saying "walk humbly." thinking she was referring to the verse, jamie said, "yeah, walk humbly, bible verse." but then she pulled out the container of guacamole we'd bought and said, "no, walk humbly" and put it in his hand.

guacamole. walk humbly. they really do sound a little alike, right?

our girl is seriously a trip and a half.